Where's JIMMY HOFFA? Who the heck cares !!!!!!

Well, now that the search for Jimmy Hoffa’s remains has been officially called off (at least at the Michigan farm), does the government feel just a little foolish spending one quarter of a million dollars ($250,000) in yet another fruitless effort to find Jimmy Hoffa? And, this is just one of many, many fruitless efforts.

Probably not! But just think how that money could have been spent—toward rebuilding the levies in New Orleans, helping the homeless, protecting our environment, educating our children. Of course, this is just the latest in a long list of fruitless searches (always based on “credible” information). What, after 31 years is the big deal? There are so many missing children, as well as adults, whose families have been waiting for years to find out what has happened.

I realize the FBI wants to “get their man”, but I urge you fellow bloggers to unite and tell the government to stop wasting our tax payers money!!! Let some archeologist find Jimmy Hoffa in some dig.

Posted by Melody at 12:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Your husband has no clue that the famous Price is Right game-show is still airing … and yes, that Bob Barker is still alive.

I told him that his head is buried in the sand, working too many hours, and not enjoying life!

One of Catalogs.com’s employee’s brother is the announcer of Price is Right, Rich Fields, who happens to be on the air, today, live on CBS.com.

The whole office is a buzz with excitement as her brother attempts to turn a rather dull, boring strategical move of “the big wheel” from one of CBS’s studios to the Gameshow Marathon set. Rich Fields narrates the big move as it streams, live, on CBS.com.

As for my husband, I don’t think he knows what the “wheel” is that I’m referring to.

Posted by Melody at 04:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

“Whoever is a retard … circle her name in orange during our yearbook signing,” whispers Girl C. to another friend in my daughter’s class. It was the last day of school and . . . low and behold, Girl C. puts a big orange circle around my daughter’s name.

How dare she, when we had just invited Girl C. to my daughter’s birthday party this past weekend! It makes me want to strangle Girl C. and then tell her where she can go. Of course, my daughter, saddened and hurt by the whole experience, shrugs it off as just another mean trick played on her this past year.

And then I begin to cry.

Posted by Melody at 10:46 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Having just attended a monthly non-profit board meeting, comprised of executives from all walks of life (lawyers, doctors, real estate developers, insurance executives, marketing & advertising executives, Internet executives . . . you get the picture), it still amazes me how 40+ people can act like nothing but robots all nodding their heads in simple agreement.

Sure, in my 15+ years of community involvement and being on various boards, I have witnessed a few juicy meetings where gentlemen scream and come close to having a fistfight. But the vast majority is dull, uneventful and boring.

Why? I’ll tell you … the real work of a Board is accomplished during committee meetings, with painful hours of debate and analysis. By the time a committee presents it’s report to the general board… the decision is all but made. The real action is in the committee process. I’ve decided this year to pick a committee that interests me. There is nothing more frustrating to me than rubber-stamping polices and motions. I want to get me feet-wet, get in the middle of a good ole’ fashioned fight … and see the tensions rise!

Posted by Melody at 10:33 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Picture this: a wet-n-wild beach party with every imaginable event known to mankind.

REAL European castle photo’s blown up to 8” x 10”, laminated at our local FedEx store, and handed out to teams for the Sand Castle Building Competition. Each team was given a mesh sack full of professional tools purchased at Home Depot -- paint stirs (phenominal for evening out the sides of the castles), plastic plant identifiers (the sharp points are perfect for delicate and detailed designs), a shovel, a bucket, chop sticks, and a plastic tool used for plastering. Whichever team has the most realistic sand replica of their assigned European castle wins a prize!

Next activity … Authentic potato sack races. I found the greatest genuine burlap potato sacks at S&S Sports Supplies. We set up a 10’ by 20’ course on the sand using colored cones to set the mark.

A Wet-N-Wild beach party couldn’t occure without slimy, wet hardboiled eggs having to be carried on a wooden spoon. The object: To run the course without dropping the egg

Frisbee toss through a hula hoop, limbo using my daughters iPod and a great new set of speakers where you can plug the iPod into the speakers and play music for the ENTIRE party to hear, boogie boarding and finally my favorite … water balloon fights.

There is no better joy than planning a daughter’s birthday party. It was a blast. I only wish I were a kid again.

http://images.x-tremegeek.com/images/prod_main/P9991A.jpg

Posted by Melody at 08:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Imagine paying $93.00 for Baby Dior Le Trousseau Bow baby booties, which will sit on a shelf.

A much better, more unique & personalized gift: Fine white porcelain booties that are hand painted with the baby’s name and birth date & the baby’s REAL PHOTO! Just upload your favorite image and they’ll reproduce it on a lovely keepsake baby bootie. And it's less than $25.00.

Now that’s smart shopping!!!!

Posted by Melody at 08:43 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The New York Times recently stated that Oprah Winfrey has the same effect on beauty and anti-aging products as she does books: if she recommends a title, it becomes a bestseller. Now Winfrey is hyping Thermage, and driving 10% – 14% of people who visit the site after seeing an "Oprah" episode end up visiting a doctor's office to have a facial procedure, at an average cost of $3,500 . . . This is crazy!!! Mark my words (and I didn’t need to go to medical school and become a plastic surgeon specializing in face lifts to figure this out ) but good old DAILY cleansing routines every night before bed and every morning is all it takes, and for a fraction of the cost.

All day we walk around with air pollution, make-up, sweat, and food dribbling out of our mouths, hands touching keyboards and then suddenly rubbing your hands on your cheeks … it’s disgusting what our face encounters each day! Wash daily with wholesome natural skincare products, put on either a good moisturizer or cream at night, and you will be just beautiful … the way God intended you on looking.

Posted by Melody at 09:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Yesterday I attended a charity luncheon, featuring Jennifer Weiner. You know, the one who wrote “Good in Bed” and “In Her Shoes”. Cameron Diaz and Shirley McClain starred in the motion picture film inspired from Weiner’s book.

I don’t remember ever attending a luncheon with such a hilarious, gut wrenching funny speaker.

Jennifer, who is a bit on the heavy side and not particularly “lovely”, was telling us all about when she met, for the first time, Cameron Diaz. Cameron was wearing a turquoise dress holding a pink parasol umbrella, stepping out of her trailer on the set – looking drop dead gorgeous. Jennifer stated that if she were wearing that, she’d look like an out-of-place dacaqurie. Cameron walks up to Jennifer and says, “Oh … you’re the one who wrote the book, so nice to meet you” and throws her arms around Jennifer and gives her a big hug. But what’s going on in Jennifer’s mind, she tells us, that she just read in Teen Hollywood magazine the 10 people who smelled the worst, and Cameron’s name was on the list. So she starts SNIFFING/SNORTING around Cameron’s neck. The room broke out in a roar of laughter.

Another funny story Jennifer told the audience was when she and her siblings wanted to fly from Philadelphia to Miami so they would “witness first hand” the historic act of when Jennifer’s Mom decides to tell Nanna that she’s a lesbian. Jennifer referred to the incident as “spillage in the village” as they entered Century Village Retirement Community, pulled up to Nanna’s driveway to drop the bomb!

Though the luncheon was a lot of fun, the shopping was even better! An entire area was devoted to boutiques and unique gifts. A percentage of each sale went to charity, plus upon entering we were each asked to bring 1 or 2 pairs of NEW shoes for women who have been abused and are temporarily living in shelters. I found an amazing deal on
Women’s leather casual oxford sneakers, made from leather. The normal price is $69.99 on sale for just $29.99 plus FREE SHIPPING. I ordered 2 pairs – I figured since I could afford it, let me make a difference in the lives of women who are undergoing hardship – it just makes me feel good knowing that I can help.

Posted by Melody at 09:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Delight recently featured a purse crafted from old ties. What a strange idea. If I wore used, worn neckties sown together and draped over my shoulder, I would wonder if my friends thought I couldn’t afford a new handbag.

Having started, owned and operated a men’s necktie catalog (some 10+ years ago) with my husband, you can bet we have hundreds of old ties that he won’t wear any longer. Too bad . . . I’m not sewing them together!

But if you’re not into carrying used ties over your shoulder, check out the latest, summer handbag from Italy, the Ghibli jeweled beige suede and reptile leather hobo bag from Forzieri. Or the handmade floral embroidered canvas bag with a touch of natural decorated wooden details, giving it an oriental look. My opinion – a much more flattering look you can feel proud of wearing.

Posted by Melody at 07:04 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Even though I’m a happily married,heterosexual … when I look at women wearing the itsyiest bitsiest bikini’s . . . I am not “inspired by travels to various exotic reaches of the planet, from the geometric designs of the Mediterranean to the earthy-neutral palette of Africa; colorful springle-sprangle detailing of India to the palm prints of Polynesia,” as listed in OndadeMar's swimsuit collection. Granted, the marketing executives are attempting to create an entire swimwear line based on taking the reader through travels, but let’s get real . . . when I look at these incredibly perfect, airbrushed models wearing a couple of threads and listen to steel drums playing music – I think of sexuality and only dream of looking like them.

Take for example : OndadeMar Love Bikini from the Mediterranean Collection, $132 from the Mediterranean Collection – you must be a size ZERO or 2 to look like that. Granted, there are hundreds of thousands of women who can pull it off . . . my personal feeling is “go for it.” If you have it- flaunt it.

But for some of us who have already given birth to children, breast-fed and gained just a few extra pounds, my advice is to check out Eddie Bauer’s swimsuit collection. Eddie Bauer’s marketing executives are BRILLIANT.

They allow woman to shop by shape or mix and match tops and bottoms (different sizes is OK) to create the bathing suit you want. They offer suits that minimize waistlines, chest or hips. Others allow you to enhance waistline, overall balance or sizes 16W-24W. Plus, you can save 20% off the purchase of your next swimsuit!

Posted by Melody at 05:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I gave my speech at the Direct Marketing Association’s Annual Catalog Conference yesterday. You know the TV commercial where the announcer states,” Turn up the degrees” for some stupid antiperspirant ad.

As the seminar room fills to over 280 people (I was originally told only about 10-20 people would be in attendance) I start to panic. Two of the four speakers have no visual power-point presentation – I’m one of them. I thought about my formal training that my Dad sent me to 20 years earlier. I attended the Dale Carnegie 16 week seminar, “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” where I quickly learned to harness my nerves and ask myself THE most important question at the moment. . . “What’s the worse possible thing that could happen?” I realized it was either that everyone would “boo” me or they would get up in the middle of my presentation and walk out – bored! I figured that would not cause me to die, throw up, or become paralyzed so I was ready to speak.

I quickly decide my only hope was to clip the microphone to my lapel of my suit jacket and step far away from the podium, walk the room, and attempt to interact directly with the audience.

It worked! My speaking strategy paid off. I purposely brought props from my office; examples of media kits, promotional stuff, copies of hilarious emails we’ve received, even framed and mounted Christmas Cards addressed every year to Joan and Jackie, Catalogs.com’s web hosts.

The secret to effective public speaking is to know your topic, do NOT write out a speech word-for-word, but rather to only have bullet points that remind you of the topic. I also strongly believe in interspersing examples and humor throughout.

In fact, the speech went so well that a Director of Marketing catalog executive came up and waited in line to speak with me after I was finished. He said, “Leslie, I really think we should be on your program.” I told the guy, “I’m thrilled, I could hug and kiss you right here.” I didn’t.

But Catalogs.com’s Director of Business Development was standing right beside me, noticed that I didn’t seize the opportunity immediately, and she hauls off and gives him this bear hug like you’ve never seen! I think he was very embarrassed (or maybe he was excited and didn’t know what to do!)

Posted by Melody at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

It ranges between 10 – 85% hearing loss, but mark my words. . . it scientifically can be proven among ALL men.

Wednesday I specifically say to my husband, “I want to buy your mother flowers for Mother’s Day. ProFlowers is having a great special and the deadline is today at noon.” My husband comments, “She won’t like flowers, find something else.” The phone rings and I’ve lost his attention.

Fast forward to tonight, Thursday (at 11:15 pm) and I just return home, very late, from my book club meeting (we call ourselves The Literary Luscious Ladies). I go upstairs, state how I’m so pissed that I never ordered the flowers for Mother’s Day like I wanted to yesterday, because after having been awake 3+ hours with 1 sick kid in the middle of the night, schlepping another to karate, another to tennis, then back to basketball, baths, dinner, showers, homework, then my book club meeting … I now have run out of time for Mother’s Day orders to be shipped out-of-state.

My charming, attentive husband says, “When is Mother’s Day, isn’t it the last weekend of May?”

Ladies, he has a mother, a stepmother, a mother-in-law – and a wife that is a mother! How many newsletters and multiple email solicitations and direct advertising have occurred in the last 2 weeks reminding everyone of Mother’s Day???????

I’d love your feedback, as I am baffled about this hearing loss phenomenon.

Posted by Melody at 11:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Recently I went shopping for two (2) new business suits. After all, I had to look my best at the DMA conference … I was speaking in front of an audience. So I bought two suits, long wasted (as I’m very tall and look horrific in those suit jackets that come just to the waist). I loved the fabric, the look, the price was right, so I bought both. Wam bam and I was out the door.

What an idiot I was, did I even consider pockets? Imagine being in the McCormick Conference Center
(a measly 2.2 million square feet of exhibit space, 1.6 million square feet all on one level, making it the nation's largest convention center). Me, I’m carrying my purse, my conference bag overflowing with give-always and junk and tons of papers, and suddenly a president of a large catalog company asks me for my business card.

Well hello… I don’t have a single pocket, not in my pants, not in the inside panel of my jacket, not on the outside of my jacket. So what do I do … I set my 5 pound conference tote bag on the floor, unzip my purse, and then rummage (and I do mean rummage) through the lipstick, pens, palm pilot, cell phone and dirty Kleenex looking for a business card to hand the President.

What a complete pain in the neck!

Designers --- take a hint, woman executives need pockets just like men’s suits. I will guarantee that not a SINGLE man’s suit has ever been manufactured or produced without a pocket.

I should have bought this stunning Tweed suit , or this Brocade suit or this linen jacket with coordinating pants.

Posted by Melody at 10:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Domestic violence occurs in ALL walks of life. Economic status doesn’t make any difference, religion makes no difference, and race makes no difference.

I just finished reading the book “Strange Fits of Passion” by Anita Shreve.

The entire book was about wife beatings and how the main character put up with it, dealt with it, and what the consequences were.

Oprah Winfrey continually has speakers on her shows about women and abuse.

But have you EVER sat side-by-side with a woman who underwent similar torture? I hadn’t, until recently. I met a really lovely, charming, bubbly and extraordinarily bright woman on a recent business trip. She was a highly accomplished professional in her career, and had risen to the top, top ranks. I mentioned the book I had just finished reading, and there was this unnerving silence, this look of terror, as though I had just invaded her most intimate secret. She would have been an awful poker player, as it was written all over her face. She chose to talk about it.

The only question that kept going over and over in my mind, which I wanted to ask her, was “Why did you stay in such a destructive marriage for so long?” She was routinely beaten, pushed down the stairs, knives held to her throat, cigarette burns, and it was more that I ever wanted to hear.

I finally got up enough courage to ask “Why, why did you stay married for 10+ years?” and her only response was “because of the children. But then, as my kids got older and saw what was happening, the 4 of them came to me and said, “Mom, we don’t want you to get hurt anymore. We think you should leave Dad.”

Ladies, there is help. Many many agencies offer emergency shelters, counseling, crises lines, and police protection. If you are reading this blog and have ever been in similar situations, I urge you to begin, quietly, researching what is available to you. You need to BUILD your self-confidence, realize your worth, and especially realize that you are not helping your children if your husband, one night, goes too far and murders you! Seek help NOW. But move cautiously – If you are in an abusive relationship, do NOT USE ANY COMPUTER THE ABUSER HAS ACCESS TO! The abuser may be able to track your internet usage--even if you know how to erase your internet history. Instead, we strongly recommend you create a new, free email account at your local library or a friend's home (Hotmail is one such free email service and there are many others.) Also, please be aware that any listed phone number can be discovered and even cross-referenced to a map. You should only make calls from a public payphone or use *67 to disable caller id information.”

Be smart, and be strong in your conviction that you deserve a better life, and how dare anybody treat you ever again like this!

Below are agencies that can help! Take the first step . . .

National Domestic Violence Hotline
International Domestic Violence and Abuse Agencies List
Safe Relationships: a domestic abuse prevention program.
National Clearinghouse on Family Violence
Family Violence Prevention Unit -Public Health Agency of Canada
Resources for Victims of Jewish Domestic Abuse
Jewish Women International (JWI) -- dedicated to ensuring that every woman and girl is safe, in her home and in her relationships, committed to ending the cycle of family violence and to promoting safe homes, healthy relationships and strong women
Wife Abuse in the JewishCommunity
Are You Emotionally Abused? Questions for Women in Heterosexual Relationships

Ladies … read below and see if this strikes accord? If so … seek help now!

The Safety Seeker:
It may be familiar, and oddly enough,
a comfortable lifestyle.

The Blind:
Not realizing it is "abuse."

The Worthless:
"No one else would ever love me."

The Defective:
"I deserved it; I'll do better."

The Manager:
"I can keep it from happening again."

The Gullible:
"He's really sorry, and it won't happen again."

The Pretender:
"I know I make him sound terrible, but he's
really a good person most of the time."

The Defender:
"He didn't mean to hurt me."

The Caretaker:
"No one else understands him the way I do."

The Fantasizer:
"But I love him."

The Martyr:
"He isn't hurting the children;
if he ever did, I'd leave."

The Helpless:
"I can't support the children on my own."

The Hopeless:
"He'll kill me if I try to leave him."

Posted by Melody at 11:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Corporate titles are important in opening doors and quickly establishing "who you are, what you do" in an organization. Click here to read my ongoing conversation with Michael Sampson of Foldera, Inc.

Posted by Melody at 10:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

On April 20th I posted an article called "Call it what it Really Is". I just heard back from Michael Sampson – the newly hired Global Vice President of Word-of-Mouth Marketing at Foldera, Inc. Michael thanked me for my article, but more importantly, asked for continued feedback, so here it is . . .

Before I give my opinion on what other appropriate “Title” I would recommend for Michael, I will point out that their selection of a title for Steve Cubberly is right on target: Global Vice President of Strategic Alliances – this title clearly tells you what he is responsible for… forming partnerships, big deals, negotiating contracts with big partners – developing relationships. It’s simple, clear, and to the point.

Michael, on the other hand, in my opinion, has an identity problem with the term Global VP of Word-Of-Mouth Marketing. I must ask Michael to consider the following:

1. Rank and organize ALL your responsibilities.
2. Is your TOP most important responsibility to PUSH a particular message for Foldera, RECEIVE input/feedback or to INCREASE revenue and profit through various communication channels?

I understand that you will be responsible for all the above (push/receive, and increase revenue) but what REALLY is your top goal?

Posted by Melody at 10:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

How can Jerry be so incredibly funny … naturally? Leave it to me, last minute, preparing my speech for the huge annual catalog & direct/multi-channel marketing conference held in Chicago next week. I’ve been told I have to “add humor” to my speech. Well I am NOT a naturally funny kind of gal. Sure, if you ask my kids I can be funny (especially when I strut around the kitchen making ungodly sounds and acting like a complete doofus) but other than that, this speech is taking some serious thought and research.

I must admit … I’m excited to be speaking. I just gave a totally different kind of speech this week. One that often can be much more challenging. It was in front of 35 “friends/acquaintances” that I interact with on a relatively regular basis.

You see, I was given an incredible opportunity last summer to visit Tblisi, Georgia (the Former Soviet Union) and Israel. In exchange for my going, I am asked/honored to share my knowledge, wisdom and insight in Florida with people who have never personally seen poverty, people starving, people with lack of medicine or food, nor proper clothing or education. You might say I’m a philanthropic fundraiser. It’s nerve racking getting up in front of friends and asking them for money … lot’s and lot’s of money. I think the upcoming speech at the DMA will be easier (I don’t know anyone).

But if YOU are reading this blog and attending, please come say HI and let me know what you think. I’m speaking on Tuesday at 2:15. The talk is about “What Worked, What Didn’t” and is being led by Herschel Gordon Lewis. Me, well, I’ll be talking about what I sleep, breath, dream about and know … sex (just kidding) Catalogs.com!

Posted by Melody at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My best girlfriend underwent 6 (SIX) invitro fertilizations (approx. $125,000 out-of-pocket expense)! At age 45, she finally gave birth to an extremely healthy, robust, 8-pound baby boy. The baby shower had about 50 guests attend, and the bris had about 70 people attend – do you really think this baby is lacking ANYTHING!

But the MOM, well that’s a different story. I couldn’t attend the shower or the bris, so I sent the baby a nice gift for the shower, then when the baby arrived I sent another personalized gift that had the baby’s name, date of birth, weight, and length, but I’m visiting this weekend and wanted to come with something extremely thoughtful for my friend. It’s her turn, so on the gift card I actually wrote, “Brandon has to wait his turn … it’s Mommy’s turn to be pampered.” I sent an incredibly luxurious assortment of bath salts, bath & shower gels, lotions, loofas and to top it off … a beautiful candle displayed in a frosted white glass vase. The assortment was called Stress Less Aromotheray in Lavender.

My friend just called me ecstatic!!!!

Posted by Melody at 10:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I’m hooked on acupuncture. My disgusting and totally repulsive sinus infection is 100% gone – with zero antibiotics, no more prescription strength Zertec-D every day, no more prescription strength NasalNex, and just a little (sometimes a lot) of pain. He replaced all this medicine with a variety of different herbal products and vitamins.

With every twisting of 14 needles at 1 time … it was worth every wince and tear. Now the real judgment day … can I go 3 months with no sinus infection? Only time will tell but I will keep you posted. I mentioned in an earlier blog that I even have gone through rotor-rooter nasal surgery in the hospital. Not a pleasant time, believe me.

Posted by Melody at 11:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

My husband tells me NOT to buy him anything for his birthday because he wants to pick everything out himself. So what does he do… he orders a TON of gifts for himself via catalogs (of course!) and has them shipped to our house. He then hands me this enormous box, tells me to wrap them and then says … and I quote “Have the kids wrap these so they can give them to me. And don’t you dare buy anything else!”

I learned my lessons over the past 10+ years of marriage … he HATES everything I buy for him. So I said “fine” and guess what ladies … I bought him the big donut (as we say in our household) he got nothing. He even got a birthday card, which was in the drawer for 2 years. Was he PISSED! Oh my gosh… he’s still fuming. I have decided, ladies, that we’re damned if we do, and damned if we don’t. I just can’t win.

Me, on the other hand ... loves surprises and especially LOVES gifts. The more unique-- the better.

Keeping happily married is no easy trick. But for me, I really look forward to surprising the man I love with something that comes from MY heart. Something that expresses my love for him, something that I hope/think he will enjoy … watching the look of surprisement when he opens a gift, not knowing what’s inside. I feel like our lives these days are so monotonous … the same car pools with the kids, the same basketball games, the same trips to the grocery stores, the same routine to and from work, the same old, same old, same old. I think being surprised, once in a while, is important. It keeps the pizzazz alive in a marriage. Instead, once again, he had to be in control of everything … even down to his own damn birthday present. So I ask you fellow bloggers … what should I have done?

Posted by Melody at 11:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)