Can you keep up with middle school kids?

My office employees and I are getting F’s.

I recently challenged 2 highly educated co-workers (holding a BS in Business Management/Accounting and a BS in Business Economics) and myself (with an MBA in International Business) to take a test that my daughter was recently given in middle school. My two co-workers (and I) all got F's! It wasn't our finest hour, and the three of us all felt like we were rejects from an episode of Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?

The test in question was for a geography final. The examination was administered on-line, with the teacher, literally standing behind my daughter's back peering over her shoulder as she was forced to mouse over the correct answers. Not only was the test ridiculously difficult (as my co-workers and I will gladly attest to), but she was not allowed to fill in the answers that she knew, and then come back to the ones she didn’t know. She wasn’t allowed to erase and change her mind after thinking about it. I question if computers should be used, at all, in administering tests. They inhibit a child's natural test taking strategies and instincts while adding even more unnecessary anxiety.

Do YOU know every freakin capital in every country in Asia? Go ahead, I dare you to identify all of these capitals.

My co-workers and I, could not.

Personally, I am fed-up with the amount of homework and the difficulty levels of the finals kids are given today, and really question if this much “busy work” is necessary. My daughter is coming home with 3 – 4 hours PER NIGHT of homework, and furthermore... is knowing the capital of Laos (which is Vientiane, FYI) really that important when you're in middle school? As of yet, she hasn't decided to major in East Asian Studies and is too young to head to the Far East to build houses for Habitat for Humanity.

It's been a tough year and I will be so glad once summer comes and all three of my kids can say Sayonara to school.

Posted by Leslie Linevsky at 08:45 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)

I met Herschell Gordon Lewis back in 1994, when my husband and I launched a necktie catalog and turned to Herschell for some marketing guidance. Back then Herschell was quite the character and has become the ever-so popular author of 31 books and the quintessential marketing genius of today. What I love about Herschell is that he writes from his heart, tells it like it is, and could care less about who he offends. In an article in Chief Marketer.com last month, Herschel made a claim that few historians will be able to argue with … that the Fifth Age of Communication is right around the corner...

Herschell notes, the First Age began in prehistoric times consisting of cavemen drawing on walls and monks scribbling manuscripts. The Second Age commenced in the early to mid-15th century with the invention of movable type with the linotype soon to follow. The Third Age marked the birth of the wireless transmission thanks to Marconi and Tesla, and the first commercial radio station went on the air in 1920. The Fourth Age stems from the 1980s, when the Internet made one-to-one marketing on a mass basis possible...and ahh, ain't Google grand?

Herschell brilliantly reflected that with the maturation of each Age, the dominant medium changed, but did not eliminate the others, interestingly enough. People continue to copy by hand, publications still exist, and books continue to sell by the billions. Broadcast stations are loaded with commercials, and cable stations offer a fare to suit every taste or lack of taste. Is a Fifth Age possible?

Herschell's pretty sure of it, since a viewing of the recent remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still where Keanu Reeves stars as an informational android with a USB-plug in his head.

The idea fascinated me, could brain-to-brain communication really exist? I guess we're on the right track, a story in Business Week commented on the current "electroencephalography" trend, where sensors read the brain's faint electrical signals, and the wearer can change the image on a computer monitor just by thinking it. Emotiv has taken gaming a step further by selling the first-generation gadget, Epoc, for about $300, promising to deliver mind-inspired game play like nothing ever seen before.

The Fifth Age may be closer than we, or Keanu ever imagined.

Posted by Leslie Linevsky at 12:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

No matter what, apply pressure if there is blood splurting out from anywhere.

Yesterday I was upstairs working while my middle daughter was downstairs taking on one of her new chores. She was emptying the dishwasher like a good little girl, working hard for her allowance when all of a sudden I heard a blood curdling scream. I flew down the stairs to see both of my daughter's hands, as well as my kitchen covered in blood. Apparently a glass had broken on the counter while she had her two little hands wrapped around it and it sliced her hand wide open.

I tried to rinse her hands to see how bad the wound was, but it just wouldn't stop bleeding. It was like some horrible horror movie except instead of Elm Street it was a Nightmare in the Linevsky Kitchen. I was home alone in the middle of a CSI crime scene and didn't know what to do. I thought about applying pressure to the wound like I've seen them do on ER, but was worried there was glass lodged in my baby's hands and I didn't want to make it worse. I then called 911 and the paramedics swiftly arrived.

They wrapped her hands in gauze until she faintly resembled the Return of the Mummy, and the paramedics informed me that it's better to apply pressure to the wound, whether it's a knife or glass stuck in there, it can always be surgically removed. Good to know. Another medical error I made was wrapping her hands in towel paper. Concerned with finding something sterile, I was told that a dishtowel would have been better because it was heavier and would have added more pressure.

Then we trekked to the urgent care center and she had to receive seven stitches in one hand. A quick phone call assured me they had ample experience in giving stitches and the woman who helped us at the ER (an 18 year registered trauma nurse at Jackson) informed us that after treating 600 child patients, she never had to hold one down while giving them stitches. I soon realized why. She showed us her entire bag of medical tricks and walked my daughter and I through step by step, explaining what everything was and what it was for. Phenomenal.

What a brave girl I have. She's tough. They didn't even give her a shot of novocaine. They applied a topical ointment to numb the area and once the stitching began she winced a few times, but still turned down the novocaine. She doesn't have a black belt in karate for nothing. She grinned and beared it like Chuck Norris with a bullet wound in the abdomen. I wonder where her incredible strength comes from, I fainted once in college while trying to put in contact lenses.

Her hands are healing and overall she's okay, but the bad news is - she can't play volleyball, swim or battle evil foes at fencing for two whole weeks. The good news? The ER physician told her she never had to do dishes again.

Obviously he's never been to the Linevsky Kitchen.

Posted by Leslie Linevsky at 12:16 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (1)

This is my post Mother's Day post.

I hope all of my Mommy blog followers had as wonderful a Mother's Day as I did. I was spoiled by every single member of the family and there's even more pampering to be had.

Today I'm decked out in an ensemble that I've already received a handful of compliments on, thanks to this bejeweled Berkeley Top my husband picked out especially for me from the Soft Surroundings Outlet. I'm also wearing an exquisite necklace also chosen by my loving husband, and a fun summer top that is in my fashion queue ready to wear for tomorrow. Damn, he has good taste.

My eldest daughter paired her creative juices with her eco-awareness and created a special homemade spa package filled with nourishing items for my entire body, all made from items found right in the fridge and pantry! She found recipes on the internet for rejuvenating, natural spa products including oregano and basil soaking bath salts, bubble bath and an exfoliating hand and foot scrub that is too good not to share:

Ingredients for Strawberry Hand and Foot Exfoliant

Wash off with lukewarm water and pat dry.

My middle daughter followed her sister's lead in the pampering department with a handmade gift certificate she crafted out of construction paper for a professional mani/pedi at the salon of my choice. Perfect! I can make an appointment as soon as my strawberry hand and foot scrub runs out. Was that sweet or what?

My youngest, not to be outdone by his sisters picked out a beautiful gemstone pendant all by himself and made sure beforehand that I had a proper chain in my jewelry box to wear it on...always thinking ahead.

With gifts this great, I vote we celebrate Mother's Day biannually.

Posted by Leslie Linevsky at 10:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)