USB Toy that makes my computer’s USB H-O-T
I have a dirty little secret.
I really dig computer time. Whether on my desktop at work or my laptop at home, I am completely and utterly addicted to my cyberlife. Lately I’ve been working, surfing and emailing all morning, noon and night with only a few breaks here and there to walk the dog. I don’t mind carpal tunnel syndrome, back strain, vision problems, muscle spasms or the imminent threat of arthritis. I’m addicted to my computer and it’s all this USB Toy Stripper’s fault.
She’s blonde, she’s sexy, and she dances whenever I turn her on (which is all the time, thank you very much). My pole dancing honey from Bud K Catalog is hooked up to my computer and keeps me thoroughly entertained with a wink, a smile and some killer badonkadonk. Even if I’m having trouble backing up my files, I just give her a dollar and she makes it happen.
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This Apple gadget lets you app ’til your heart’s content
I’m not one to get jealous. No, that’s a vicious lie. I totally get jealous. I’m jealous of Heidi Klum’s legs, Joe Biden’s smile and the lady at the next table at lunch who ordered a better looking sandwich than mine.
The most current instance where my insane jealousy reared it’s ugly head was a few weeks ago when my co-workers Amy and Jody were comparing their iPhones and all their primo features that trumped my video iPod. There they were, showing off their apps, making my iPod feel like it was a slab of Taco Bell ground beef next to their filet mignons. It made my silicone skin crawl. I needed a new Apple gadget, and I needed it fast. One visit to MacMall for the new iTouch Apple gadget is all I needed to calm the green-eyed beast.
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Tees for dogs that keep your dog from overeating
My son has always wanted a dog, so this past Christmas I thought to myself - Hey, why not bite the big one? Our pad could use another top dog in the house…So I traveled up north to New York to pick up our new 10 week-old chocolate lab puppy. We named him Capone because in our house, he’s Public Enemy #1. He may not be bootlegging alcohol or committing tax evasion, but he did chew up half a hardcover copy of “100 Greatest Places to Go“…now I guess I’ll only be visiting 50 of those places.
Capone eats a lot – kibble, books, furniture…possoms. I was warned that this is customary for Labs. Capone’s starting to get a bit sensitive to his expanding middle, so he’s taken to wearing this “Does This shirt Make Me Look Fat” Humor Dog Tee from In the Company of Dogs.
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Novelty birthday candles for novel birthday wishes
Last week wasn’t my best week ever.
I was a mess. I had car problems, my flat iron wasn’t cooperating, it was my birthday, and people just never seem to want to call me back. Until yesterday I was convinced that nobody loved me, until I was called outside for work mid-afternoon to see a table set up with three quarts of ice cream, Dora the Explorer (and Diego) party plates, Ice Cream Cone shaped Novelty Birthday Candles from King Arthur Flour, and the best part — a teal Adirondak chair just for me!
Hey Ma! They like me, they really like me!
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This mini bowling set helps me strike up some good business
I’m very superstitious when it comes to new deals. Whenever I have a new client, I have a special routine that clues me in on whether a deal will head north or south, east or west. I don’t believe in rubbing rabbit’s feet, I don’t call 1-800-PSYCHIC and I don’t count on finding a penny and picking it up so all day long I’ll have good luck. My process is much simpler than all that.
I bowl.
One serve of a tiny little bowling ball tells me everything I need to know with this Mini Bowling Desk Set from Bowling Delights. If I land a gutterball, it ain’t happening. If I get a spare, it’s still a possibility, and if I get a strike…I’m headed to Tahiti. Read the rest of this entry »
Real life baby dolls that cry, burp and coo for real
When I was seven, I left my Cabbage Patch Kid in an Italian restaurant. I cried about it for hours. Would Lorraine Ann be taken care of by the busboys? Fed spaghetti? Would they change her outfits and sing her to sleep the way I did every night? The answers to all of my questions were not even…Lorraine was found in the corner, on the floor under the table with tomato sauce smeared on her forehead. I was happy to have her back, but it took me days to get all of the garlic breadcrumbs out of her hair. I can only imagine how much worse it would’ve been if I’d have left a Real Life Baby Doll Ready or Not Tot in the pasta place that night.
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These mini tarts fulfill all of my hot tart cravings
A man can never have too many tarts sitting around.
I especially love a good tart after a hard day at work, after a nightcap, just before bed and twice every year on my Birthday. The guys at David’s Cookies offer a scrumptiously appetizing individual assortment of Mini Fruit Tarts that give me a rush every time I need some sugar. Read the rest of this entry »
This therapy pillow gives me a therapeutic night’s sleep, finally
It’s never a silent night in my house.
I have 2 teenagers, and it’s been 6 years, 4 months, 13 days and 9 hours since I’ve had a good night’s sleep. I know, I’ve counted. I’m too busy thinking about all the work I need to do, all the pitches I need to make, all the bacon I need to bring home and all the kids I have to raise. Instead of crying tears on my pillow every night from all my accumulated stress, I can now be soothed by my favorite mellow sounds of Sade’s “Smooth Operator” or Enya’s “Orinoco Flow” thanks to this Sleep Oasis Therapy Pillow from Soundbytes. Read the rest of this entry »
