Top 10 Simple Jokes
Written by: Catalogs.com Editorial Staff
November 9, 2011
Filed Under Offbeat
Contributed by Korina Rossi, Catalogs.com Top 10 Guru
When life puts you in an awkward situation …
telling a few clean and amusing jokes can break the ice with strangers, attract other funny people, or just demonstrate your social skills.
Here are my picks for the top ten simple jokes:
10. Alcohol jokes
I always take life with a grain of salt, …plus a slice of lemon, …and a shot of tequila.
Jokes that allude to alcohol are especially useful for the office where colleagues might think you’re a stick in the mud. Recounting bar stories or ordering home brewing equipment within earshot can gussy up your image.
9. Office jokes
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Office humor is best aimed at inanimate objects, like the vending machine. Keep a joke book or a calendar with daily jokes at your desk for a wealth of light-hearted humor.
8. Death jokes
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Jokes concerning fictional accidents, innocent people, and cars in midair take advantage of our fear of the unknown. You might want to forgo telling anxious friends this type of joke; instead, buy them a pack of tarot cards.
7. War jokes
War does not determine who is right – only who is left.
When conversations at the dinner table drift into subjects that would be inappropriate to joke about, a bittersweet truism can take the place of a joke.
6. Religion jokes
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
Tripping in the hall at work, spilling coffee on a colleague, or breaking company property can instantly draw attention to you. Keep the cheerful observation above on the tip of your tongue, and you might succeed in convincing people that your klutziness serves a higher power.
5. Worldly jokes
Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.
A humorous observation that will instantly cheer up any forlorn friend.
4. Literary jokes
Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.
Your bookish friends will appreciate jokes about poetry. But if you dining in a sushi restaurant, skip the jokes about their culture and admire their art.
3. Political jokes
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Now that another election year is upon us, memorize this joke for the inevitable political circumlocution.
2. Location jokes
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Gas station jokes are especially fun to tell to germ-obsessed friends who sanitize everything.
1. Friend jokes
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
This joke is a reminder to entertain your friends with your wit, but resist making fun of in-laws, colleagues, or bosses, who always have the last laugh.