Hanukkah gift ideas for women

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If only men believed this, oh what a Hanukkah we would have!
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Hanukkah gift ideas for women: a tongue and cheek look at holiday giving

Hey, it's almost Hanukkah, and you know what that means! No, I'm not talking about the endless times you'll have to smile and say "Delicious!" while trying to eat yet another greasy latke.

I'm talking about the presents! Sure they used to be just for the kids, but then we learned better from our Christian neighbors. Why should kids get all the good stuff? So now instead of just stocking up on gelt and dreidels, the men in our lives need to think about Hanukkah gift ideas for women, whether that's a girlfriend, a wife, or a daughter.

I've seen that "deer in the headlights" look in your eyes, guys, so I've decided to take pity on you. I will once and for all answer the age old question of what women want -- for Hanukkah, at least.

Credit cards ready?  Okay...let's shop!

The bigger the bling, the better

Sure, we say that size doesn't matter, but when it comes to diamonds in a ring or a tennis bracelet, you can't go wrong with seriously huge. One blogger I read said that if her husband didn't have to sit down for a bit after seeing the price tag, he just wasn't trying hard enough. Sounds good to me! And your wife will approve, too.

Palm Beach, here I come

The old refrain still rings true. She may seem okay with living in Boise or Plainfield or Austin, but in her heart of hearts, she is longing for that big house in South Florida. Come on, ladies, you know it's true. Palm Beach may have been supplanted by Boca Raton, Weston or Parkland, but the call remains the same.

So shall she call a Realtor?

If it's not designer, don't bother

Walmart? I think not! TJ Maxx? No way!  Find your way to Neimans or Saks and pull out all the stops (and the credit cards, of course!). Clothes might be tricky, but you can always buy her a few Birkin Bags (they come in more than one color, you know!) 

And then there are always shoes! Don't worry about how they fit...she'll be taking them back to exchange for the right style anyhow...she just wants to know you care enough to drop $500 on a pair of sandals she'll never wear.

The daily nail

Do you know what it's like to go through a day with a chipped nail? Trust me, it's awful! 

That's why having her own mani-pedi girl on call would be a perfect gift for your wife or girlfriend this Hanukkah! No more waiting as long as five or ten minutes until she's finished with another customer. And no more annoying requests that she make an appointment! Perfect!

And for your daughter...

Your daughter wants you to know something about her Hanukkah needs, too. It's just a little thing, only three little letters, but it would make getting to high school so much better. No, silly, it's not "bus"! The first letter's right, but it ends with a W, not an S! And then there's that M in the middle (for "Me!"). Please, daddy? 

So are you ready, guys? Hello? Men? Where did they go? Oh, I guess they were so excited by my advice that they already headed out to shop.

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