Top 10 Golf Club Throwing Techniques
By Editorial Staff
Contributed by David Galassi, Catalogs.com Info Guru
Golfers tend to get very irate when shots do not go their way.
They have between 80 and 120 shots to get disgusted about. The nearest object to take out frustrations during a golf game is … their club. After all it, is the clubs fault you know! Any score under 80 would not require throwing of clubs as you must be playing pretty well.
If you can’t play ‘em, you might as well throw ‘em.
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Here are the top 10 club throwing techniques and potential results.
10. The Hammer and Nail
After an errant tee shot, the golfer watches his ball sail two fairways over with his huge banana slice. He slams his driver into the golf tee — like a hammer into a nail — with force enough to stick it in a China man’s foot.
The ball, however, remains two fairways over.
9. The Lay-Down
The golfer is 150 yards out in the middle of the fairway. A green-light-9 iron-special. He drops his shoulder and lays the sod over the ball, leaving him 40 yards short of the green. He let’s go of the club and it lands gently on the ground. He then proceeds to stomp on it — snapping the shaft in two.
8. The Bag Jam
After hitting two balls into the green-side lake from 80 yards out, the golfer walks over to the cart and slams his club into his bag with brute force. The result is that the club pops back out and hits the father-in-law in the mouth, just as he is getting a ball from his bag. This causes $4000 in dental damage. Have fun at Thanksgiving dinner in two weeks.
7. The AX
OK, OK, OK … another bad fairway shot. You missed the green for the 7th straight hole. You take your club and hatchet the fiberglass front of the golf cart, leaving a 3-inch gash. Better the cart than your playing partner’s knee.
6. The Thumper
Bad tee shot, bad approach or bad chip, they all call for this move. Using your club like a trucker’s tire thumper, you strike the cart tire. No harm to the cart or your club. Your sprained wrist is, however, covered by your wife’s medical policy. Or is it?
5. The Sand Stab
The greenside bunker has become your best friend. After five times in on the front nine, you again fly the green and land in the opposite bunker across the green. You fling your club into the sand, stabbing your grip deep into the “Beach”. The club sticks firm and vertical, but the force snaps your wedge head clean off.
To make matters worse, the beer girl is watching. Nice move, slick.
4. The Lumberjack
You are in the woods so deep a GPS cannot find your ball. You toss your club like a boomerang into the green wall of foliage. Snap, crackle and pop. Broken branches — and your 3 wood in three pieces. Only poison ivy trying to retrieve it will make matters worse.
3. The Bird’s Nest
A truly honest throw of your club into a 60-foot tall pine tree. A Herculean effort and silent landing and no shaft-snapping is heard. All is well! Wait…..the club never came out and is stuck 30 feet up in the pine.
Three years later while playing the same course it’s still there.
2. The Stone Skipper
After missing another 3 foot putt, your putter takes on the roll of a skipping stone, skittering across the greenside lake. Too bad your throw is as sorry as your putt – the club just javelins into the water without a splash and finds its watery tomb in silence.
1. The Bag Toss
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You just shot 109 and lost every ball in your bag. You lost 17 skins to your brother-in-law. (Who you can’t stand.) He cannot stop smiling. You decide to give up golf. The whole bag gets the heave -ho into the lake.
I guess it doesn’t matter these were the clubs willed to you by your uncle that he used to shoot 69 with back in ‘52.
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