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Top 10 50th Birthday Jokes

Written by: Catalogs.com Editorial Staff

March 29, 2011
Filed Under Parties 

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A list of the top ten 50th birthday jokesContributed by Paul Seaburn, Catalogs.com Top 10 Guru

Who said there is nothing funny about turning the big 5 – O.

Here are my top ten 50th birthday jokes. Go ahead and let them rip … over-the-hill doesn’t mean you have no sense of humour. Show them you still know how to laugh with a drawer full of gag jokes and funny props (a fart cushion still gets laughs at your age!), and have a chuckle on us.


10. Diet

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

Diet for 50-year-olds: if it tastes good, spit it out.

9. Prayer

A list of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

Prayer for turning 50:
God grant me the senility
to forget the people I never liked,
the good fortune to run into the people I do,
and the eyesight to tell the difference.

8. Still young

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

Don’t be depressed about turning 50 – you’re still young enough to do the things you really want to. So go ahead and put your adult kids up for adoption.

7. Brutally honest

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

Now that you’ve turned 50, you can stop calling them “laugh lines.” Nothing is that funny.

6. Confusion

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

When he turned 50, Fred decided to get a complete physical. He told the doctor that he felt fine, but often had to go to the bathroom during the night. Then he said, But you know Doc, God must know my eyesight is going because he puts on the light when I pee, and turns it off when I’m done.” After Fred left, the doctor called his wife and told her what Fred said. She diagnosed the problem for him. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again.”

5. Gravity

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

You know you’re 50 when going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

4. Secrets

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

Fifty is the age you find out that Victoria’s secret was that nobody your age can fit into a thong.

3. Medicate

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

You know you’re 50 when you start taking half of a Viagra so you don’t pee on your shoes.

2. Social

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

You know you’re 50 when you sign off your tweets with OMMR – On My Massage Recliner.

1. Memory failure

List of the top ten 50th birthday jokes

How do you know when you’re 50?
First you forget names,
then you forget faces,
then you forget to pull your zipper up,
then you forget to pull your zipper down.



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