The Top 10 Pics of Obama’s Baby Love
Written by: Sammy Sanchez
February 27, 2009
Filed Under Celebrities
Gone are the days of Baby Boomers, meet the new faces that surfaced during Election 2008 – the Baby Bamas. While John McCain was busy talking to Joe the Plumber, Barack Obama was talking to Joe the Spit Upper and hundreds of other tiny toddler constituents who rallied and rattled with loyal support for President Obama, some right out of the womb. Our new President is undergoing immense scrutiny for his $787 billion stimulus package, but lest we forget the points that made us all cry out “Obamalujah” only a few short months ago.
Enjoy my picks of Top Ten photo ops featuring Barack Obama and the real issues surrounding Election ‘08… straight from the mouths of babes.
This baby-faced voter has nothing to worry about now, but the next sixty years could easily fly by faster than Dick Cheney’s trigger finger. Our country will go through at least half a dozen new Commanders-in-Chief by the time he’s collecting his Social Security checks, but he wants to know he’s being looked out for, at least until Election’16.
Good news baby, your new President is committed to ensuring that Social Security is solvent and viable for the American people, both now and in the future. Here’s looking at Social Security kid.
On the family front, cracking down on Slim Shady Daddies who shirk their child supporting responsibilities is tops on Obama’s to-do list as well as offering double funding for after-school programs and providing low-income families with refundable tax credits to help with child-care expenses.
A true family man, Barack already has two beautiful daughters of his own, but this little cutie patootie still wanted in, making a play to join the first family in the White House. Sasha and Malia had no comment.
When it comes to foreign relations, Obama and Biden plan to renew American diplomacy to meet all of the challenges of the 21st century. Hopefully they will rebuild our alliances with countries that have blown raspberries at us for the past two terms and restore our image in an international sense, making us feel like the great Superpower we once were…that is, before we were Bushwhacked.
On the campaign trail, this happy camper reminded Obama of the healing powers of a good hug. Just hugging it out and clutching his Bama bro in a tight big bear hug gave our new Prez a few novel ideas concerning foreign diplomacy. It is rumored that Barack plans to steal this token move the next time he rendezvous with Russian President Dmitry Medvedev and Korea’s Kim Jong-il.
Besides eating pureed peas, spitting up, burping and playing with Weeble Wobbles, this baby girl’s daily routine includes regular visits to Gymboree to maintain her ultimate baby physique. She’s had a complex ever since her great Aunt Bertha called her pudgy, and wanted to know where Obama stood on health care for all Americans.
Listen up cutie in the pink hoodie, the Obama-Biden plan is to provide affordable, accessible health care for everyone while building on and improving the existing healthcare system. With hopes to lower health care costs by $2,500 for a typical family by investing in health information technology, prevention and care coordination, you’ll have no problem covering all those visits to your pediatrician…although you’ll probably have to front your own Gymboree classes. It’s okay, McCain wouldn’t have paid for them either.
This chickadee makes minimum wage testing cribs at Babies R’ Us, and throws a temper tantrum every week after seeing her miniscule paycheck slashed to bits and pieces. Most kids leave it to their parents to obsess over financial issues, but this working gal wasn’t resting until she heard the words “No new taxes”, straight from the Obama’s mouth.
According to Barack’s new tax plan, broad-based tax relief will be delivered to middle class families with taxes being cut for small businesses and companies that create jobs in the US. Once our infant earner heard the promise of restoring fairness to our tax code and a return to fiscal responsibility, she gave Mr. Obama a great big kiss. Then she wanted to know if her kiss was tax deductible.
Feast your eyes on this infant who is just shy of six months, but has already implemented an all-baby-run recycling program at her local Day Care center. How’s that for initiative? She has single-handedly encouraged her fellow crib mates to toss those used baby bottles into the recycle bins, save electricity by killing all the lights at naptime, and even talked them into donating the contents of their used diapers to be composted into organic fertilizer.
Following her lead, Obama plans to put 1 million Plug-In Hybrid cars on the road by 2015, ensure that 10% of our electricity comes from renewable sources by 2012 (25% by 2025), plus he hopes to implement an economy-wide cap-and-trade program that will reduce greenhouse gas emissions 80% by 2050. I’d say Obama is doing this tiny do–gooder proud by giving her a greener, safer world to enjoy once she grows out of those Pampers and reaches the legal voting age…and long thereafter.
No child will be left behind on President Obama’s watch, starting with this clingy dude. Right now he can spell the word C-A-T, most of the time with a K, but he’s working on it. He has high hopes for furthering his education, but with a Brady Bunch set up of 6 college bound kids in the family, the college-fund well might be dried up by the time he sharpens his pencils to take his SAT’s.
Get ready for an educational plan that is too cool for school with Obama and Biden’s new American Opportunity Tax Credit worth $4,000 for college bound students who perform valuable acts of community service. Barack wants to give back to those who give back to the community covering roughly two thirds of tuition costs at the average public college and a sweet free ride for students headed towards community college. This kid couldn’t wait to tell his parents, brothers, sisters and Alice the housekeeper that in 15 or so years he would indeed be headed to kollege.
As we can see above, this pint-sized Casanova is a true ladies man, so gay and lesbian rights and issues don’t really matter much to him…but he does have an Uncle (as most of us do) who is gay and wants to make sure that his rights are being protected and conserved.
Tell your Uncle that Obama plans to outlaw employment discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, enact federal Hate Crimes legislation, and repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy allowing all service members in the military to serve openly. Obama also supports full adoption rights for same sex couples but draws the line at same sex marriage. How does your Uncle feel about moving to California or Massachusetts? Don’t forget Canada.
Getting right down to the nitty gritty, this baby made it no secret that she wasn’t a fan of the war on Terror, and has even taken steps in her own play pen by banning her brothers from playing with little green army men for added homeland security measures.
Picking up on her direct, no-nonsense attitude, Obama is giving his Secretary of Defense and military commanders a new mission in Iraq, successfully ending the war. Obama and Biden will press Iraq’s leaders to take responsibility for their future and to substantially spend their oil revenues on their own reconstruction.
In other words…Peace out baby.
Part of Obama’s and Biden’s “Blueprint for Change” involves promises of securing all loose nuclear materials in the world within four years time, and negotiating a verifiable global ban on the production of new nuclear weapons material to curb the spread of nuclear weapons.
Starting with the bomb this kid just dropped in their pants.