Worst Christmas Presents to Wrap
By Catalogs Editorial Staff
Contributed by Info Guru Lindsay Shugerman
It’s going to happen soon. With Christmas just around the corner, you’re going to have to wrap all of those gifts you bought. Sure, you can speed wrap those shirt boxes and books, but what happens when you get to the hard stuff?
That’s where I come in. Here’s a decidedly silly look at the hardest presents to wrap, along with some real advice for dealing with the worst Christmas presents to wrap.
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10. Swords
First, there’s the problem of the sharp bit ripping through the paper. Oh, that’s what the sheath is for!
But there’s still the issue of disguising it. Paper-wrapped collectible, antique or fantasy swords still look awfully sword-like! But I have a solution! The trick is to add things around the sword before you begin to wrap. Protect the sword with tissue paper or bubble wrap, and then begin to add your shape-shifting disguises.
Wads of tissue paper, small boxes taped to one another, or even tissue paper rolls can be taped on here and there create a mysterious shape. Once you’re satisfied, wrap the whole creation in pretty paper, or tie it up into a gift bag. The same technique works for concealing walking sticks, yoga mats, and anything else long and easily spotted even when wrapped.
9. Lawn mowers
Just getting the paper underneath a lawn mower is enough of a challenge for me. And then there’s the matter of finding sheets of Christmas wrapping paper big enough to go around it. You don’t realize just how big those things are until you’re sitting there with paper and Scotch tape in hand!
A better idea? Head for the dollar store and buy several plastic table cloths in holiday colors (they might even have holiday prints.) Two or three of those should do the trick for all kinds of big, weirdly shaped gifts that tend to poke through wrapping paper.
8. Stuffed animals
They’re cute, they’re cuddly … and they’re a bear to wrap (yes, of course that was pun intended!) The more you try to get the paper around them, the more the paper wads and rips — and oh, no, you just taped the paper to its ear!
You could take the cheater’s way out and drop it into a gift bag and be done with it, but that’s not fun to unwrap. But you can wrap soft, squishy things like stuffed animals and bathrobes and sleeping bags by treating it like a giant Tootsie Roll.
Lay the stuffed toy on its side near the cut edge of the paper, leaving a good amount of paper top and bottom, and roll it into the paper two or three times. Cut and tape, then twist the ends up like on the iconic candy, tape your twists and add ribbon. Done!
7. A penguin
This is one of the trickiest ones so far. Not only are penguins typically damp, which gets the paper all soggy, but they wiggle and flap their feet all the time making it almost impossible to get the tape in place!
So first you have to tranquilize them. Then you can pull out the blow dryer and get rid of the water problem … oh heck! The noise woke him up! Back to square one on this one. Sorry, you’re on your own for penguin wrapping.
(Oh I can hear the exclamations of horror already! Chill! ! I’m a lifetime PETA member and would never wrap a penguin. A harp seal, maybe…nah, just kidding!)
6. Skate boards
They’re heavy, awkwardly shaped and they have wheels. What could be harder to wrap? I could be a whimp and opt for a really big gift bag, but in my world such shortcuts aren’t allowed. And besides, it might be 11 pm on Christmas Eve when you’re reading this, and you’re lacking a conveniently large, strong gift bag. So what to do?
My personal choice for this hard-to-wrap gift was to bundle it up in a new skater-approved hoodie. Because odds are, someone who’s getting a skateboard is also getting at least one hoodie!
I tucked in into the sweatshirt, with the end sticking up into the hood. Then I folded the bottom up, the sides in, and wrapped the arms around it. A big ribbon held it in place, and I covered the “face” with a bow. Perfect!
5. A Lamborghini
This one would be my dream come true! So if there’s anyone out there who just happens to want to give me a Lamborghini for Christmas, I thought I should include it. Just in case.
And as for the best way to wrap it? Don’t! Don’t even do that silly ribbon thing. I will hug you, jump up and down and scream, but no way am I hanging around long enough to find scissors! Just hand me the keys, jump in the passenger side, and we’re off!
4. Basketballs
Or a soccer ball, volleyball … they’re all a challenge. Round gifts and flat paper just don’t mix! You could use tissue paper like the talented gift wrapper whose work is shown here. But what fun is that? Someone will look at that and say … “Oh, a wrapped basketball!”
Be devious. Be crazy! Put it in a big diaper box and wrap that, making sure to reseal the box so it looks like it’s never been opened. Watch their faces. Priceless!
3. A house
As much as you might be tempted to wrap that house you’re giving someone for Christmas, resist! Why? Because houses are only wrapped for one reason, and as cheerful and inviting as the colorful covering on the house in the photo might be, it is not a way to get the recipient excited about the gift.
Them: “You got me a house with termites? What the…” You: “No…But….I mean” Yeah, you see it now. A tasteful bow, however, is acceptable.
2. Bikes
Bikes are a classic hard-to-wrap Christmas gift. You can try with roll after roll of paper, but those handle bars keep popping through. You can try the tablecloth trick I talked about for lawn mowers – that works here, too. But I have a more creative suggestion.
Take the entire bike apart. Now put each piece in its own box, and wrap those. Not only will no one ever guess it’s a bike, you’ll have the fun of watching the lucky recipient trying to put it all together again. Just make sure you have your video camera handy … this will be YouTube worthy!
1. A cat
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The Lighter Side
Oh yes, I had to end with this one, despite the glares my cat is giving me as I write. But after I saw the video “How to Wrap a Cat for Christmas”, I knew this was the perfect ending for this article. So watch, giggle and then head off to face your own worst Christmas presents to wrap. Happy wrapping!
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