What is pre-wedding depression?

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Wedding doubts can cause depression
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Wondering what is pre-wedding depression because you feel sad before the wedding

Getting married is stressful. That’s why some couples opt to elope because they can’t tolerate the stress of the pre-wedding preparations, especially when it comes to planning a wedding of epic proportions.

Not only is planning a wedding stressful, but it can take its toll on your mental health, and that includes both the bride and the groom and those who are around them.

What is pre-wedding depression? It’s depression that occurs before “D” day. Why do bride- and groom-elects sink into depression?

Let us count the ways:

What if you really don’t want to get married? You said ‘yes’ to the proposal and accepted the ring. You have been a couple with this man since you were in high school and you always assumed that you would get married. Now the time has come and in less than two weeks you will be his wife and you are just not sure that’s what you want, for a variety of reasons.

Doubting your choice, experiencing indecision and second guessing the commitment you have made may lead to depression. But there is probably a reason why you are dubious. Don’t dismiss or ignore your fears. Don’t do something that you really do not want to do. If someone tells you that you can’t back out, don’t listen to them. You can if you really want to but the sooner the better. Don’t wait until you are standing at the altar.

Perhaps you were previously married and that relationship turned sour. Now that you are about to do it again you may be having a type of flash-back and fear that this second go-round will end up like the first even though bride/groom number 2 is nothing like bride/groom number 1. Your fears are probably unwarranted but then again you may be intuiting something. When a person is not optimistic about something and even fears it this can lead to anxiety and depression with good reason.

People, men and women, have, from the beginning of time, suffered from “cold feet” right before they got hitched. It is normal to be a bit anxious and scared and maybe even sad that you’re leaving your single life behind. This is a monumental leap that you are taking and no one should underestimate the toll that it can take on your nerves.

A bride, in particular, may become depressed prior to her wedding because she is overwhelmed by wedding plans and decisions. She may become depressed because she thinks she has spent too much money or because she doesn’t have enough money to afford the type of wedding and reception that she’d hoped for.

A “shot gun” wedding, where the couple gets married because the bride is pregnant, can be depressing if neither one of the parties really wants to get married.

In countries where there are arranged marriages and men and women are forced to marry a person that they don’t know or barely know, and certainly do not love, this is obviously a reason to be depressed and maybe even downright suicidal for some.


Stress can lead to depression. The body and mind react to stressful events which can prompt depression. Stress can happen even when an event is positive, such as a marriage or the birth of a baby, which shows that good things can be as stressful as bad things.

If a person is already predisposed to depression, any important event, such as an upcoming wedding, may cause the depression to become full-blown.

When a person has a history of depression, it is likely that he will experience depression once again when faced with a stressful event. This is called the kindling effect, which means that the first round of depression can spark alterations in the chemistry of the limbic system and the brain, which makes it more likely that the person will re-experience depression in the future.

If you are a bride or groom and experiencing depression, tell someone. Talk to each other about it. Communication is one of the keys to a successful relationship so now is the time to start.

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