Contributed by Robert P. Simon, Catalogs.com Info Guru

I’ve done it more than once… I’ve done it more than ten times.

Be careful though, if you don’t treat her right you’ll end up with more clutter in your apartment than you ever bargained for. Depending on how bad things are you may need to combine 2-3 of these suggestions at one time to successfully hop out of the frying pan.


10. Buy her flowers



Standard operating procedure here. Our friend David has some advice for you on this one, to quote “Women love flowers, even if they say they don’t” … Top 10 Most Beautiful Flowers.

9. Take her out for fancy dinner



My recommendation is to wait 24-48 hours before applying this technique. If she’s still hot under the collar you’re walking into the firing line and setting yourself up for public humiliation. Instead, let her simmer for a day or two, and surprise her with a trip to your favorite romantic bistro. Either way, wear dark clothes. You don’t need a loud red stain on your shirt after she throws a glass of wine at you.

8. Get her tickets.



Preferably tickets to see her favorite band/musician. And go with to the concert.

You hate James Blunt. That’s because James Blunt is terrible. But your girlfriend loves him. She loves his soft voice. She loves his sensitive lyrics. She loves that awful music video where he takes off his clothes during a blizzard. Well, if you hadn’t screwed up you wouldn’t have to sit through 2 hours of live James Blunt. But now you do.

7. Clean the house



You NEVER clean the house. Wash the dishes, do the laundry, dust, vacuum, polish her mom’s silver… Leave no stone unturned. Now she knows you’re serious.

6. Spring for a vacation



The trick here is to find a romantic getaway that won’t be crawling with handsome other men who presumably have not already made your girlfriend throw a vase through the flat screen TV. I suggest a national park. Avoid Greece, Italy and Brazil at all costs.

5. Teddy Bear



Find the biggest teddy bear in three cities.

The pink teddy bear says you’re trying too hard, and the white teddy bear with red embroidery will probably remind her of Valentine’s Day (you got in a fight last Valentine’s Day, remember?) Go with the brown one.

4. Puppy love



You need a real animal for this one. Get her a puppy.

You’re in real trouble here. A teddy bear just won’t do. Tip: She loves puppies, but she probably doesn’t want a Pit Bull.

3. Write a poem



This is a poem that you write, especially for her. Sure, it won’t be any good, but it’s the thought that counts. She’ll be touched that you even tried.

2. Turn the poem into a song!



Strum out a few chords, do your best James Blunt impersonation, maybe grow out a little stubble and go for the tortured artist look. Keep it simple though; your prog-metal aspirations are best saved for the upcoming concept album, so do omit the 17-minute instrumental outro.

1. Propose



Well, if you’re serious… why not? Just don’t skimp on the engagement ring.