Questions to ask on a first date

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A first date
Politics, religion and whether your date wants to have children are all questions you should avoid on a first date
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First dates should be fun and light-hearted.

Many of us have been there—sitting across from that new person whom we just met 18 minutes ago. Gazing across the candlelit table, we want to say something nice or clever but the only thing that comes out is a smile. And then there it is: the dreaded awkward silence.

To avoid these frustrating moments, there are good questions to ask on a first date that will help you get to know a person in a lighthearted and fun way. Being prepared with some interesting conversation starters will help you relax and focus on the fun of getting to know someone. On the other hand there are also questions you should never ask on a first date, unless you want your date to be short.

Good Questions to Ask on a First Date

The goal of a first date, whether you met online, were introduced by friends, or met in person, should be to find out if you like the other person enough to go out again. It's a way of seeing whether you want to begin dating. It shouldn't be an interrogation. No one likes to feel like they're in the hot seat while they're buttering their dinner rolls. The best questions to ask on a first date should give you an idea of what a person likes to do for fun, basic information about family and friends and a little about what they do for work.

If you're paying attention, you can learn a lot about a person's likes, dislikes, values and personality. Answering the same questions yourself makes for good back and forth talk that leads to even more conversation. Some good questions to create fluid, easy dialogue might be:

  • What do you like to do when you go out? Asking this provides ideas of what might be fun for future dates and whether you like the same types of activities.

  • What do you like to do for fun when you're not working? This lets you know what entertains your date. Is she the outdoorsy type, a bookworm, a chef or a movie-rental-and-pizza kind of person?

  • What kind of relationship are you looking for? If you ask this in a casual, non-confrontational way, you can determine quickly whether you're both on the same page or even in the same book.

  • What's the craziest thing you've ever done? This gives you an idea if he thinks robbing banks isn't as bad as the news makes it out to be.

  • What do you like about your job or classes? Inquiring about the other person's career gives you an idea of what her goals and ambitions are.

  • What are your friends/family like? This lets you know how your date views relationships and how trustworthy or loyal he is.

  • If the rest of this date involved taking a short class or lesson, what would you want to do? This is another question that helps you find out interests and possible aspirations; it also gives you the opportunity to take a fun class together at a later time.

  • What kind of things annoy you about people? This gives you insight on her personality and outlook.

  • What's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? Can he laugh at himself, and does he have a sense of humor in funny situations?

  • If you could meet any famous person living or not, who would it be? You get an idea of what qualities, attributes or physical characteristics your date is attracted to.

Without making an inquisition of it, you can ask all these questions and get a little insight into whether you might want to go out again. The goal should be to create at atmosphere that is comfortable and fun for you both. Talking about interests, the basics and what you enjoy will help you both decide whether a second date is in the cards.

Bad Questions to Ask on a First Date

You're meeting a person for the first time. There are questions that are inappropriate for the initial date. Some will come up at a later time once you've gotten to know the person a little better. The first date should not feel like a job application or a debate. The best way to ensure you don't make it to a second date is to ask questions like the following:


  • How much money do you make in your job?

  • Why did your last relationship end?

  • Are you looking to get married?

  • Do you want kids?

  • What was your childhood like?

  • How do you feel about religion?

  • How do you feel about politics?

  • How many relationships have you had?

  • Do you work out at all?

You never want to ask extremely personal questions regarding relationships and health that are inappropriate when you first meet someone. Asking your date fun, interesting questions not only makes you seem more appealing, it helps you achieve the main objective of a first date which is having worry-free fun.

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