Should I call or text

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hands texting phone
Texting hides nerves and keeps it playful
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Should I call or text my gentleman friend is a common contemporary question

The phone is in your clammy hand as you run through that last conversation searching for signs that he's interested. Aren't these insecurities supposed to go away after high school? Never mind that now; it's time to take action, but which one. You wonder should I call or text?

Does this scene sound familiar? It's typically only at the very beginning of a relationship that another person has the power to make us analyze everything to the point where a casual dial feels impossible. Maybe you're fretting over a potential love interest, new friend or someone who may want to hire you?

Take a deep breath and a sip of rich coffee. The thing about nerves is that they show up because you care, but walking on egg shells won't get you anywhere. Let's look at a few different scenarios to determine when it's best to send a message or ring someone up.

Possible Date - A Friend of a Friend

You're out with a group of friends when a new face in the bunch starts chatting you up. By the end of the night you know there's a connection, but it's not till the next day that you think "Now what?" You know you'll likely see her again soon through friends, but you can just as easily get her number before then.

What to do depends on your intention. If you want to have a conversation, just call. If you want to woo her, maybe even make her a gourmet meal, know that some girls don't like to be asked by text message. For a first date, show a little moxy and ring her up. 

Texting is a casual way to send someone you're interested in a few flirty messages, just know that it leaves ambiguity. Many females will assume you want to hang out not date. If you don't want to be put in the friend corner, call.

Dating Post First Date

You've just had the kind of first date that leaves you floating. It's clear you're both interested and you both implied there'd be a next time. Now it's a few days later and you're sick of checking for missed messages. 

Should I call or text this guy? Why not send him a quick "Hey, stranger"? Even better, send him a funny or irreverent message: 

"What trouble are you causing now?"
"What's your favorite donut?" and whatever he says respond with "Get me one, too. Thanks!"

Keep it playful and see how he responds.

New Friend Confusion

You've possibly made a new BFF at work, and you made some loose plans to go to a new movie or the festival this weekend. Now it's the weekend, and you're feeling slighted, perhaps over thinking a bit. Something else could have come up or she may not have thought the plans were as concrete as you did.

In this case, sending a text can cause more confusion on timely matters. Give her a call and see if she's still free to hang out. If she's not, you're free to make other plans and won't hold any resentment for waiting around. One conversation can clear up where you're meeting and when faster than serial texting.

Professional Follow Up

Err on the side of caution with professional relationships and call - unless you already have a working relationship in which texting is appropriate, as in "Hey. Running 5 minutes late for the meeting". This includes following up with someone you met at a conference. 

It makes sense to send a message in response to a client's, colleague or manager. By sending you one first, they're indicating their preferred form of communication.

The beginning of a relationship is full of potentially anxious, awkward moments. Asking should I call or text is normal. Sometimes sending a message feels safer because you can hide your nerves and show more personality. The problem is that some people prefer a phone call. If the person on the other end is someone you want to get to know, be brave and dial. 

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