Funny wedding vows

By Susan Crowley
Info Guru,

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bride and groom smiling
A touch of humor can make your special day even more memorable.
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Spice up your wedding vows

Are you tired of the tried-and-true traditional wedding vows? Are you looking for something that reflects the creative, fun couple you and your future spouse are? If you want to add a bit of humor to your wedding day, consider writing some of your own funny wedding vows.

Here are some examples to help get those creative juices flowing:

Work off of Dr. Suess

Minister: Will you take her as your wife? Will you love her all your life?

Groom: Yes, I take her as my wife, Yes, I'll love her all my life.

Minister: Will you have, and also hold Just as you have at this time told?

Groom: Yes, I will have, and I will hold, Just as I have at this time told, Yes, I will love her all my life As I now take her as my wife.

Add an extra promise or two

"I promise to make your favorite chocolate-chip pancakes on Saturdays."

As Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston promised each other, "I vow to split the difference on the thermostat."

Groom: I, John, choose you, Karen, to be my wife. In front of our friends and family gathered here I promise to love and cherish you throughout the good times and bad times. I promise to try to remember to put down the toilet seat and to replace the toilet roll when it finishes. I promise to remember this day with love and roses. I will love you always.

Bride: I, Karen, choose you, John, to by my husband. In front of our friends and family, I promise to love and cherish you through every obstacle that may come into our path. I promise to learn how to change a tire and how to refill the screen wash when it runs out. I will comfort you when your team loses and drink beer with you when they win. I will love you always.

Financial Bits

Groom: I, Mark, take you Jane, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold and to be financially responsible for from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part.

Bride: I, Jane, take you Mark, to be my lawfully wedded husband... for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, for when you buy all those expensive toys...

Work the Officiant into the Fun

Officiant to Bride: Do you promise to love, honor, cook for, clean up after, surrender your share of the blanket to, live with the flatulence of, relinquish the remote to and with the toilet seat after until death do you part?

Officiant to Groom: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say may be held against you, and you have the right to have an attorney present. You may kiss the bride.

Add Your Hobbies and Interests

I, George, take you Sandra, to be my spouse, on the golf course or in front of the shopping channel, at the computer or with the bridge club, as long as we both shall live.

(Sandra repeats vow to George)

Rework the Traditional Phrases

Instead of saying "till death do us part" try using "to infinity and beyond."

Yes, Dear

Bride to groom: Early in our marriage you will find it difficult to get the last word in any discussion. With time, though, you will learn how to always get the last two words in every discussion. Just make sure the words are "Yes dear."

Bride to groom: Always remember the three magic words: "You're right dear."

Who's in Charge?

Minister to Bride: Do you take this man to be your husband?

Bride: I do.

Minister to Groom: Do you take this woman to be your wife?

Bride: He does.

Liven up the Location

You may want to say your vows on top of the Sears' Tower, underwater, at a museum, on the beach, or any other place that fits your personality and sense of style. After you choose the location, you can set a theme for the wedding. Then write funny wedding vows that reflect the theme.

Things to Remember

Injecting humor into wedding vows can lighten up the occasion and create lasting memories. However, keep in mind that the wedding vows are the opportunity for the bride and groom to make promises to each other. Don't go overboard with the humor and stay away from inside jokes. Also, be sure to discuss the vows with your to-be life partner before the ceremony. You don't want to create any bad surprises that ruin the special day.

Choosing funny wedding vows is a great way to add some entertainment to the ceremony. A bit of humor can help keep others from shedding tears on the happy occasion. And the funny wedding vows, if done well, will be remembered for years to come.

So get out your pen and start thinking of an original way to say "I do" on your wedding day.

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