What makes a good wife

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In a lifelong relationship what makes a good wife is also what makes a friend

With half of all marriages ending in divorce, chances are good that there will come a time—perhaps when that special someone finally pops the question, or as you walk down the aisle, or after your first big argument as a married couple—when you wonder if you are really “marriage material,” if you have “what it takes,” and what really makes someone a good wife. 

As it turns out, the qualities that make someone a good wife are remarkably similar to those that make someone a good best-friend.


If you are going to spend the rest of your life with someone, you had better make sure they are someone you can really trust—and trust is not something that is built in a few weeks’ time. Trust is something that must be built over time and shared experiences with someone. 

The more time you spend with someone, the more you learn about them and their integrity. If you cannot trust someone in the little things, how can you trust them with the big things?


A lifetime companion needs to show loyalty and dedication, and she should “have your back” when things get difficult. Life will throw you some curve balls: unemployment, temptation, illness, piles of bills, sleepless nights, and cranky kids. When things get complicated, the last thing you need is to worry about your wife throwing in the towel and heading to Tahiti.


Some days are hard—curl up in the fetal position hard. And when they are, you will need someone to talk to, to hold you when you cry, and to help you make it through another day.  Life is hard enough without living with someone who tries to one-up you in the misery department, someone who plays the martyr and matches your every mishap with their even-worse-anecdote.  Make sure that your companion cares enough to listen…and make sure that you return the favor when she comes home after a hard day.


Passion is an important component in a marriage, especially the passion that comes from a deeply held conviction. When an individual strongly believes in something, they are fiercely passionate about it, want to share it with the world…they want to change the world. And that is a passion that will burn long after the initial kindle of desire has mellowed.


No one likes a quitter—someone who threatens to walk off every time things get difficult and, during every disagreement, makes sure that you are fully aware that leaving is an option for her. It is important that a couple can disagree and argue without the constant fear that the other person will leave. Make sure that your partner is determined to make things work, and is willing to maintain open discusses and is willing to compromise in an effort to strengthen the relationship and your mutual happiness.


Your spouse should be your biggest fan and your most ardent supporter. Marriage is difficult enough without committing to someone who constantly criticizes you, belittles your efforts, and mocks your dreams. Find someone who believes in you and encourages you to continue pursuing your ambitions.


Make sure that your partner accepts you as you are. She should not try to change you to mold you into something that you are not. She should not try to control you or make you conform to her expectations.

There are many traits that make a good wife. These also happen to be the same characteristics that make a good friend…and a good husband. And, ultimately, that is what your spouse should really be—your best friend.


CDC: statistics on divorce

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