Contributed by Aurora LaJambre, Catalogs.com Top 10 Guru
Cashiers, particularly those at pharmacies, are not paid to judge you, but it sure feels that way when the product you’re buying seems to comment on your hygiene or lifestyle.
For many of us, shopping without embarrassment is easier said than done. Luckily the internet makes it easy to buy anything you need without the awkward face-to-face moments at the checkout.
While you can’t control the bright colors and large fonts conveniently found on many of these products, when a plain black box would suffice, perhaps these tips will help shield you from some awkward moments.
Beats waiting in line
The only downside of online shopping is the delay of receiving items when you need them pronto. It’s best to buy what you’ll need in advance when possible. The perks are worth it: No throwing the circular over your basket in line, no avoiding eye contact with the cashier and best of all – no dreaded price checks. It also saves you the trip. Specialized sites make purchasing hard-to-find items simple. For instance, online stores carry incontinence supplies for affordable prices to boot.
Create a Diversion
“I just came for some candy. And this.”
This may cost you a few extra dollars and prolongs time spent at the checkout, but adding a few distractions to the mix takes attention away from what you really came for. Proceed down the aisles with stealth, filling a basket with chocolate, Band-Aids, balloons, toothpaste, a protein bar and bunion relief products. At the checkout, ask any “Do you think” question: Do you think … it’ll rain? … team X will win the Super Bowl? … pretzel gold fish are better than original? Reward yourself with the chocolate after. You were so brave. Or, you were so smart and found everything you need for foot and leg care.
Sexy and you know it
Yes there are boxes of personal lubricant and toy cleaners in your basket. And if pharmacies had a lingerie section there’d be something lacy in there, too. Now the cashier knows all about your scandalous life practicing safe sex. If anything they’re either jealous, preoccupied recalculating the hours left of their shift or hungry. So give a smile, and don’t stare at them intensely as if you’re daring them to snicker. Because then they will judge you for acting like a weirdo. Unless you shop online at As We Change and purchase your intimacy aids in the privacy of your own boudoire.
Till you actually don’t care
Maybe you’ll never be that girl who can waltz up to the counter with laxatives and stool softeners in one hand and the magic to cure foot odor in the other without batting a lash, but you can pretend to be when you order directly from an online store. In other words, fake it till you make it. As a last resort, you can send them as a gift to your fictional roommate. After a while, you’ll stop investing so much energy in shopping without embarrassment because you won’t feel it anymore.
Just you and the computer
It’s easy to shop without embarrassment if you can eliminate the human element, aka cashier. This will take some research, but once you find a self checkout online you can buy commode pails, toilet splash guards and other toilet aids blush-free. U.S. Medical Supplies is a good place to start.
Apply a Mantra
This too shall pass
Call them what you will, a good mantra, affirmation or pep talk can get you through any dreaded task. You’re a man of action who buys Rogaine. Never give up! Woman, you are so good. Hemorrhoid cream will make you great. Jock itch spray is for the mightiest of athletes. No one can stop you … from buying facial hair remover discreetly at Beauty Bridge. Here, “conditions and concerns” are gently handled with solutions for body odor, feminine hygiene, age spots and ingrown hair.
If all else fails, go to a drug store in the next town over and think of Eleanor Roosevelt’s famous words “You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” Go on!