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Top 10 Gifts You Will Never Get For Christmas

Written by: Editorial Staff

November 3, 2010
Filed Under Holidays 

Tags: , , , , ,

Contributed by Aurora LaJambre, Info Guru

It’s not that you don’t enjoy giving Christmas gifts to loved ones, but you also like receiving them. There’s nothing wrong with that.

People make wish lists for fun; few expect to receive most of the items on the list. But there are a few things you will never get for Christmas so maybe it’s time to retire them from the wish list to make room for more feasible gifts.

Whether they’re too expensive, illegal or not available for purchase, let’s collectively deal with the harsh realities. Here are the top 10 things you will never get for Christmas – unless maybe you’re one in a billion.

10. Castle

Sting has one so why can’t you? If you are going to ask for a castle, make sure to specify your location requirements. There are a surprising number of historic castles on the market, but many of them are major fixer-uppers with multi-million dollar price tags. As many little girls have eventually have to accept, you will never get a castle for Christmas.

9. A Cameo on Mad Men

You may look like you belong in a 1950s advertising office enjoying three-martini lunches, but unless the casting director is a pal, you’re going to have to take the bull by the horns on this one. Head to Los Angeles where the show is filmed and register for every extras casting agency you can find. You could ask for a Peggy Olsen dress to wear in your head shot.

8. An Island

In the world of luxury real estate, it is completely possible to buy an island. Are any of the lovely friends and family members giving you a gift obscenely rich? If not, you may want to cross this one off your list. It’s not that you’ll never live on an island or maybe even own one, but odds of someone else giving you an island for Christmas are not in your favor.

7. Your Dream Home

If it’s not for sale you can have it. Dreaming that someone who really, really loves you will buy you that dream house down the street (especially if it’s not for sale) is about as practical as waiting for a Picasso to go on sale. You’re better off using the house as inspiration and finding on just like it with a big, shiny ‘For Sale’ sign staked in the front yard.

6. Mail Order Spouse

While the Internet has elevated the world of mail order hubbies and wives to a more social level, where spouse-to-be’s correspond and get to know one another before getting married, if you’re in the market it’s probably best to choose your own mate. Asking for a spouse on your Christmas list may be best interpreted symbolically, as in “Dear Universe, Let me meet my future spouse on Christmas Day.”

5. A Chance to See What the World Would Be Like if You’d Never Been Born

Maybe you’ve watched “It’s a Wonderful Life” a few too many times? If you find yourself wondering what it would be like to be Jimmy Stewart circa 1946, try going the DIY route instead. Call out of work, and then peak into the office from an outside window. See how your colleague has no one to share funny cat pictures with? Peek inside your home. Watch your dog pace. Without you, he doesn’t get walked or scraps from the table. See, you’re needed!

4. Picasso

Picasso was incredibly prolific, but even his pencil sketches are prized by art museums across the planet. It doesn’t matter how many times you hint to your partner that ‘Les Demoiselles d’Avignon’ would look fabulous in your bedroom. Perhaps you’d consider a print?

3. A Trip to the Moon

Until the commercial space flight industry gets rolling, you’ll have to put your dreams of touching the moon on hold. Sadly, Nasa retires its space launch program in the Fall of 2010 and funding for Project Constellation, a new spacecraft intended to bring passengers to the moon, is deferred to the generosity of corporation. You can, however, ask someone to take you to NYC’s Museum of Natural history and touch the meteorites on display.

2. A Time Travel Machine

Feels like just yesterday the Marty McFly made us all believe it was possible to travel back in time and erase our existence. If a time machine has been invented, you won’t find it on Best Buy’s shelves. It’s not a bad idea to include this on the wish list anyway. Perhaps your future self will take pity and pay you visit.

1. Flying Suit

Named after the most intimidating of birds, Nasa’s “Puffin” was announced in January 2010. The “Puffin” is a personal flying suit or equal parts jet pack and one-man plane. Though it’s still in development, it’s possible you may one day get to test one out. The reason why you will never get a “Puffin” for Christmas is because you’re friends and family are more likely to keep this one for themselves than give it to you for Christmas.


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